Lord I come, I confess
Bowing here, I find my rest
Without you, I fall apart
You're the one that guides my heart
(Lord I Need You, Matt Maher)
These lyrics so accurately describe what I was just thinking. I love the way that music has the power to make beautiful my thoughts that can be oh so ugly. When left alone with just my thoughts lately, I have the tendency to be pretty depressing. The enormity of our task, of all that lies ahead of us, weighs heavily on my heart. My own inadequacies and weaknesses seem so overwhelming. When I forget about God's presence, about God's call to be here, that's when I tend to fall apart. I guess it's that whole taking my eyes off of Jesus in the midst of the storm--I just plain sink. And some days nights, I'll just be honest, I feel as though I'm drowning. But it's in the LORD that I find my rest. He is the one that guides my heart, and my steps--NOT my emotions.
"Don't doubt in the dark what he has revealed in the light."
God is SO so good. His blessings and affirmations are abundant, when I choose to see them. Therefore, I will share just a few stories of ways that God has worked and affirmed me in the past months.
One day, after praying for opportunities to share while we were out, we met a cute family that were super interested in us strange, white Americans. However, instead of going out of our way to walk with them, I hastily said my goodbyes as I turned to go do some pre-planned errands. Only afterwards did I realize my missed opportunity, and asked our gracious God to give me another shot, even if it took me off course. And answer he DID! A few days later we were on a bus, on our way to head home, and we sat next to two different ladies. We both struck up conversations and they happened to be friends, going together to visit a sick father in the hospital. However, they were so excited about meeting us that they immediately invited us over to their house for tea. So, I silently thanked the Lord, and we completely changed our course for the day! It was a sweet time of meeting and getting to know a family, sharing a story of Jesus as healer, and praying for them. My plans were completely different, but His plans were infinitely better.
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| Our sweet new friend |
My second story involves our awesome local dress, pictured below. It's totally adorable, right? And honestly, very comfortable.
But sometimes I just miss wearing my American clothing. On this particular day, I was expressing my thoughts to Becca, as we were walking to a tourist shop to buy some Christmas gifts. I was asking, "Do you really think it makes a difference, that we dress differently?" I mean, our skin reveals our foreign-ness, we can never hide that, and we will never truly fit in. Right? As we arrived to the store, I set aside my questions, and began to shop. But God didn't forget my questions.
As I was checking out, the cashier sweetly asked me, "Do you live here?" (As opposed to visiting) I happily responded that, yes in fact, I do live here. Her response? "I can tell. You look like a [local] girl."
Go ahead, tell me "coincidence."
Lastly was our most recent jaw-dropping, God moment. First, we have been praying for where we should live and Second, we have been praying for direction with language, as we've lost one helper to wedding planning and the second is just wholly busy. We were visiting our *potential* future apartment, just to see what the area was like on a different day, at a different time. As we were walking away, a man in the house next door came out and asked us if we'd like help (apparently, two white girls wandering on a dead end road up a mountain says "lost").
As we explained to him that we were considering renting in the area, he warmly invited us in (in a totally not creepy way) to chat. He gave us advice, told us about the area, talked about the country in general, and told us about his family. Did I mention he is part of our people group?? The people group that feels elusive in our city sometimes? Not only that, but then he drove us down the mountain (it's quite the trek), showed us his jewelry shop, and introduced us to his assistants. Did I mention that his assistant is "an expert" in Tamil and could even give us lessons??
Go ahead, say "coincidence."
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| The Apartment! |
God is GOOD, people. He answers us when we call on him. He is gracious and compassionate when we fail. When we doubt him, he doesn't walk away frustrated. He gives us rest and comfort in the midst of the storm.
