By no means do I want my first blog post in my new country to be negative, so I'll start out with something positive:
I love it here. The people are friendly, life is slower paced, it's warm and tropical, and we have had no major issues thus far. We are learning how to use several buses, negotiate an auto, and bargain at the market. We have been loving our homestay, spending time with our family, learning from them and teaching them some about our culture too.
So here's the problem.
I'm learning that I hate being stared at. The first few days, no problem. But after the 3rd week, it's already getting old. I get it. It's weird to see a white person, period. Weirder still to see a white person that dresses different than most and attempts to speak a clearly foreign language. But I'm insecure enough as it is, without being laughed at when I attempt to order at a new restaurant or eat with my hand, or stared at when I get on a bus, or whispered about when I walk down the street. Most times whispering is too subtle even, and it's not even a secret that they're talking about me in a language I don't understand.
Maybe as I gain confidence in living here and doing every day tasks, the staring, laughing, talking will bother me less. But I will never "blend in" or be mistaken for a national, and that's just something that I will have to get used to.
Lord help me have my identity totally rooted in you, and who you have made me to be, rather than what others think of me. May you use me being an oddity to get your name spread further and wider and deeper within this country.
3 comments:
U will learn Sarah!! It will not bother u once u relax & start feeling that u are in the place the Lord wants u to be. All that u are feeling is just a test & simple test. Rest in the Lord & remember where u are from, TX. Here u know that there r people from different countries & cultures. I'm sure u have felt a hispanic look at u & while speaking in Spanish u had no clue what they were talking about. Pray to the Lord that u can feel at home. Let Him lead u out of the culture shock u are going through. I will b praying, keep strong my friend we have ur back covered with prayers. with luv, Reina
U will learn Sarah!! It will not bother u once u relax & start feeling that u are in the place the Lord wants u to be. All that u are feeling is just a test & simple test. Rest in the Lord & remember where u are from, TX. Here u know that there r people from different countries & cultures. I'm sure u have felt a hispanic look at u & while speaking in Spanish u had no clue what they were talking about. Pray to the Lord that u can feel at home. Let Him lead u out of the culture shock u are going through. I will b praying, keep strong my friend we have ur back covered with prayers. with luv, Reina
I know it's been a month since you've posted this, but in reading it today, I am reminded of Romans 12:2, "Do not be conformed to the world." Your goal is to love these people but be different, such that others come to you. That's who we are as Christians, too. We're called to stand out, be different, to be talked about, and hopefully draw attention to Christ through us. I guess you're just experiencing this on a very real, physical level. Hope you can learn from it, and I'm looking forward to your December update!
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