Photos of my heart

These faces are precious to me. Each. individual. one.

THIS is the ministry that God has blessed me (us) with over the past few months. Smiling, joyful, energetic, and crazy kids. What a blessing! And while these kids are like any other in that they enjoy running around, being silly, playing with friends, etc., they are different in that they already have a history and a background that we can't even imagine. These kids come from Burma, Nepal, Iraq...they speak other languages, they worship other Gods, they celebrate different cultures...yet have somehow made their ways into our back yard. Some remember what it was like to go hungry in their war-torn country, some have family members that didn't make it out, but they all have hope that their lives will be different here.

I have that same hope.

My prayer for these kids is that God will transform their lives. That He would draw them to himself, show them that He is THE way, THE truth, THE life. I pray that I can be a stepping stone along that path. That I can some how, some way impart to them a tiny inkling of the love that I know God has for them.

But along the journey of playing with these kids, running around and being silly with them, having reflective conversations with them, I will probably leave our relationship more changed than they will. They have opened my eyes to true joy. There is nothing like hearing my name yelled by one of these kiddos, receiving the hugs they give, and being sought after by them as one highly esteemed. They have opened my eyes to the lost. As beautiful, unique, and fun as each one of these children are, they represent millions of people from all over the country and world that don't know Christ.

These kids are precious and honored in God's sight. I pray that they would know that. I pray that our ministry to them would be solely to bring glory to God, and not to ourselves. This is my heart's cry:

Isaiah 58:9-10
If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.

I pray for this little girl.

Summer Reflections...a little late

Hi All,

I've been encouraged to spend the last part of my night studying writing a long-overdue blog post. I last wrote this summer while I was doing my externship at a hospital. It was all BRAND new when I started and it's surprising how comfortable I was when I left. It's also bizarre to work a full-time real-person job for about 3 months and then up and leave. I had some experiences I wouldn't care to repeat (depressed patients, crying patients, angry ones, end-of-life experiences, etc.), but I also had some pretty neat experiences too.

One I don't think I will ever forget was with a patient who, after experiencing a massive stroke, was left pretty much without language. She could tell me her first name and do some automatic tasks like counting, but even had difficulties with yes/no questions right at first. However, if you didn't know, the brain is an AMAZING thing! God really knew what he was doing when he created it. It can reorganize and heal itself in pretty dramatic ways. I worked with Elva for about a month. We worked to get her eating regular foods (her swallowing was effected after the stroke too), and also worked on language as much as possible. During the time we saw her we saw initially a lot of progress, but we also saw her go into about a week of depression, and come back out of it after some medical intervention. I was blessed to get to walk through the process with her, hold her hand, encourage her to try and talk, and try my best to learn about her family and interests through her limited communicative abilities. (On a side note, being able to walk with people in their most vulnerable state truly makes you humbly appreciate the skills you never really even realized you had--talking, eating, communicating, etc.) She was one of the only patients I got to consistently see by myself. At first I was scared to death of working with her. ME?! Force this poor woman to talk, when all she seemed to want to do was sleep?? But the more I got to know her, the more I felt I was giving back to her each time she answered a hard question or got something out about herself.

ONE day, the day after I had given her a little motivational speech about "the more you try, the easier it will get," I walked into her room and something had changed. She was TALKING! I mean, before, I had to pry and pry to even get one-word answers. She was making mistakes, but she was answering me in SENTENCES! It was incredible. I felt like a door had been unlocked and I was finally able to connect the dots about her life and clarify running questions about the things that went unanswered. But the most precious of it all was when she grabbed my hand and said:

"Sometimes, the light reflects off of you."

It brings tears to my eyes to think on it. Maybe she was simply referring to light coming in from the window (although I doubt it because her shades were always down), but it reminds me of one of my all-time favorite verses:

“If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday."

Praise God that he allows me to serve him. May I never forget my purpose!

Summer working

Coming into the hospital setting has been a definite adjustment for me. I am so used to working with kids that I feel like most of the time what I do with them just comes naturally. In the hospital setting working with adults, I feel out of place and uncomfortable. I have to think very hard and even then I am often left feeling uncertain or frustrated with my lack of knowledge/skills. Further, the patients not only have physical needs that we are addressing, but they also have emotional needs that add a whole different dimension to the task. One of my first days we began seeing an elderly woman who was very frail, had a huge medical history, and swallowing problems. She hadn’t been eating much due to lack of appetite and we were in doing a meal check, trying to encourage her to eat and helping her with the food. She began talking a little bit about her life and history and problems she’s had in the past, etc. She made the statement “I’m afraid to live and I’m afraid to die,” and I was left speechless. Someone so vulnerable laying it all out there, admitting her fear…what was I supposed to say? Thankfully at this point my supervisor was still leading the sessions and she replied in some way (I don’t even fully remember what she said). But I am still left with the question of what to say to someone as they are very likely nearing the end of their life.

Vision in the Valley

I want to open up a few pages of my journal to everyone so that my life may be a testimony to God's faithfulness. I am in constant awe of how He answers prayers and this is no exception. God really does have his hand in our lives, directing and guiding events of everyday life.

Please take a few moments to read through the following. I pray you'll be as amazed by God as I am.


April 7, 2011, I wrote the following:


"It's nights like tonight when I question you. Not you or who you are, but who you've made me to be. Obviously you created me uniquely, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I have a fire for your Lord and really a faith that is as much a part of me as my hair color, or the two eyes on my face. I praise you and thank you for that. But sometimes I wonder if I have simply "convinced" myself that I have such a deeply rooted faith, or is it actually true?? Why, oh why, Lord, is it so difficult for me to be a light? To be OPEN and honest about my faith, not just quiet in a corner, sitting on a basket, covering the greatest light there is?...Do I love you like I say I do?? Why don't my actions match my heart? Your words says you can do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20).

Time for a milestone, time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything, I surrender

Again, I'm not questioning your "God-ness"...I just can't see it all. Someday I'll understand."


April 8, 2011, I wrote this:

"Father, I can't sleep tonight (1:30am) because I am thinking about the development of tonight's seemingly innocent conversation with Jenny. We were talking about jobs and the future...As we were talking I was becoming even more uneasy and uncertain about making the decision about Bilingual Therapies. I truly have been on a back-and-forth ride in making this decision and recently I have just in general been wondering if I am on the right path. Am I here in grad school because of my stubborn self-will, or because God has ordained it? Am I on this path because of the comfort and security it will provide, or becaue I really feel this is the path God has placed me on? Am I doing the right thing, going in the right direction?? I was really wrestling through that in my convo with Jenny tonight and telling her about my desire to go do missions abroad, asking about what it would look like to take a year off, talking through the frustration, the CONSTANT frustration of debt and the strong desire to pay it off and be done with it. So many thoughts, discussion, questions...all lead to a "revelation" if I can call it that. And since I don't believe in simple coincidences, I am choosing to believe you have cast a vision upon my heart. A vision that will be impossible to achieve in reality without you guiding me every step of the way. I have been saying ALL along that the last thing I want is to become comfortable and complacent. I need to pay off my debt, I have a heart for ministry and missions, I absolutely love speaking Spanish and I desire that as part of my future, I could see myself abroad in a foreign country, meeting needs that are currently unmet and sharing Christ and his love all the while. That is the long-term heart you have given me thus far, the things I feel...what I have had the hardest time understanding so far is the HOW and WHEN. How, if I have to pay back my debt, do I go? When do I go, if I must stay here for a couple of years at least? How could you use my professional interests in the ministry world? How do I carve out my own path? I believe I have the beginning of an answer:

*The Rio Grande Valley, TX*

Population: 95% + Hispanic, Spanish-speaking
Needed: CHRIST!

I could be a "foreign" missionary in my own country!! Is it safe? Not necessarily. Would I be uncomfortable? Probably. Criticized for my less-than-perfect Spanish speaking abilities? More than likely. Would I need to be utterly dependant on God? Absolutely. Would it help me towards the goal of paying back my debt quickly? Apparently, yes, they pay well.

Father, I pray for your continued guidance, I praise you for placing this on my heart. I ask you that your will may be shown to me, that if I am so completely wrong, that you would close these doors and guide me elsewhere. I'm YOURS!"


April 10, 2011, I wrote the following:

"Lord you are so good! You are faithful to your promises, you know when I sit and when I rise (Ps 139), you know the desires of my heart, and your ultimate plan is to prosper me in all that I do for you so that I might glorify you more. Last week, I cried out to you in frustration because I've just not been sure WHAT you want me to do with my life. Friday night you cast a vision upon my heart, one so powerful that I couldn't sleep! Why the Valley, I'm not sure...but I prayed even that night for continued guidance. This morning you gave me even more confirmation! Our sermon this morning was titled "Vision in the Valley," which honestly escaped my attention for the first 15 minutes or so. Pastor Al talked about having a sense of vision, or "sanctified dreams," and how, without it, we are headed towards destruction.

THEN, he began talking about "The valley" in a figurative sense of course, but he actually made the statement that:

"That's where God's calling us to minister--Down in the valley."

He also said something along the lines of, "It's down in the valley where lives are in desperate need of Christ." LORD! I am in awe! My jaw dropped when I heard that. If he wasn't speaking directly to me, I'm not sure I heard it correctly. Praise you God. I will not turn away or deny your purpose within me, wherever it may lead me...Train me, raise me up. I am your instrument for your to use as you please. "


Such a long post, but I felt the need to share. God is REAL and active in our everyday lives. This weekend he is RISEN. I hope you're encouraged as I am!

Life of a not-stressed grad student

I need to be careful posting so soon...y'all are going to start thinking I'm a regular blogger! (Did you notice the "y'all"??)

Let's see...Life.

I am surprised at how not-stressed I am this semester. I've been trying to figure it out. I have fewer clinical assignment things to do, such as writing reports and making lesson plans, but I have an additional class. And class isn't without work and studying, let me assure you. I am hoping that I am not just waiting until the last minute to do everything for classes, but I have already started my research paper due in 3 weeks, which I'd say is an accomplishment. I am wondering if my being less stressed correlates with the strength of my relationship with God. (can you tell that my research class is infiltrating my life?) It seems like, the more time I take out to spend with God, reading his word, praying, etc., the more time I seem to have in my day. It seems counter intuitive, but I can only say that it feels true for me on a daily basis. Now, I am not saying that I DON'T get stressed about anything or worry about anything. I am human, after all. However, I do have an overall sense of peace about my daily life, what I am involving myself in, how I spend my time, what I'm getting done, etc.

In other news, I have had QUITE an exciting week!! It started with meeting up with Ethan, our college ministry director, last Sunday to talk about missions and all of the possibilities for the college group. He had approached me in the past couple of weeks to ask if I would pray about heading up missions for the college ministry. This seems to be an answer to a long-prayed prayer! He sort of issued a challenge to me to "stretch my ministry muscles," which is exciting for me! (And scary too!) I haven't stepped far out of my comfort zone in ministry in quite some time. It reminds me of the question:

"What thing are you doing right now in your life that would be impossible without God?"

So, I'm striking out on a new path in life that I believe God is faithfully guiding me down! I started out this week getting a tour of Catholic Charities, a local organization that works closely with refugee populations (among many many other ministries) to settle them, provide financial and job assistance, and mentor relationships. I also met later in the week with the director of missions at my church and another young lady like myself who actually works for Catholic Charities. It looks like things are falling into place and I am SO looking forward to where this can go. I will definitely give more updates in the future! Now I'm praying that the vision I have for this can be cast into the hearts and minds of my fellow college students at Wedgwood.

On a side note, I finally got an opportunity to teach and play Settlers of Catan last weekend with a couple of sweet girls. It brought back memories of good times last year with my wonderful friends at CMU. Now I just need to find someone who knows how to play chess! (Gosh, I'm SUCH a nerd!!) But better a nerd than a dork. (Oh wait, I think that's me too.)

Sending my love!

Cooking & Baking Endeavors

Wow! Another post already? I've been inspired by reading blogs these past few weeks (especially when we had our 4 snow days) and I wanted to share some of the fun things coming out of my, and others', kitchens! I have always inspired to be a good cook, like my momma and grandma. And while being a student is a full-time, crazy job, so is being a wife and a mother! I'm starting to realize that things aren't going to get less busy as life moves on, so I'd better start adapting now! Plus, it's something I very much enjoy, so why not?

Benefits of cooking/baking:
-I get to EAT it!
-I get to try out new recipes
-I get to experiment mixing flavors and colors
-I get to please others with the yummy goodness! (I hope)

Drawbacks of cooking/baking:

-Doing DISHES
-It's expensive at this stage in life
-It can be rather time consuming

So here are a few of the things I've taken pictures of:

(Toll House Streusel Muffins with slivered almonds on top)

(Halloween treat: Brownies with peanut butter frosting, and a little extra!)

(Deboned whole chicken with bacon/vegetable stuffing)

On a side note for this one, I'd been promising my grandma that I would do this for her since 2008, when I learned in Argentina. She still didn't understand how I did it without breaking the skin...

(Superbowl treat: Chocolate cupcakes in football formation)

This one wasn't entirely my undertaking. In fact, the frosting is all my roommate. But I thought it was too adorable NOT to share!

(Cut up carrots, bell peppers, zucchini, and yellow squash)

(Combined ingredients: hamburger, rice, veggies, spaghetti sauce, herbs & spices)

(Final result: Stuffed green peppers)

The last recipe is compliments of the lovely Julie, a wonderful mother, wife, and fabulous cook! I wish I had more opportunities to learn from her!


Bon Appétit!

As the days go by...

I realize my last post began with "It's beginning to feel a lot like Michigan," and, again I'd say that's true! Only this time it's not the end of August with temperatures cooling down into the "tolerable" range. This time it's feeling like home due to our much lower temperatures and *gasp* even snow!! Crazy enough, in the past two weeks I have had 5 snow days (3-4 of which were due to light snow, heavy ice)! I think I maybe had one snow day in all four years of college, but I'm not complaining. Next is supposed to come the slightly "I'm superior" comment about Texans being wimps and how being scared to go out in a few inches of snow is pretty lame. After all, I am a seasoned winter driver. Well, it's not coming from me! I can't blame Texans for being scared to drive...ice is no joke, especially not when you have Not A Thing to melt it. Like salt, for example. Maybe it's the reason my car is rusty, but it's also the reason that I haven't been in a winter accident! Anyways, enough about the weather!

Life since last fall? Here are a few things that have happened:

I cried my first day of clinic.
I survived my first semester of clinic.
I get up at about 6-6:30am [most] every day to have coffee and Jesus time.
I used Spanish weekly, if not daily.
I read Genesis through (now) Psalms with the church.
I have developed a great friendship with one particular girl in my program.
I went to a haunted house and hurt my arm by running into a wall.
I went home for Thanksgiving.
I drove to a different city 3x a week to work with Spanish-speaking kiddos.
I babysit on occasion for a lively, wonderful set of 3 boys.
I went to downtown Ft. Worth and saw the beautiful Christmas lights.
I passed my first semester with a 4.0!
I went home for a month over Christmas.
I have a "staff" dinner weekly with our staff/volunteer team in Cru.
I'm loving my living arrangement.
I played laser tag.
I've developed a friendship with two sweet girls at church.
I've learned more about this profession than I can possibly remember.
I'm debating writing a thesis (truly debating!)
I tutor a 13 year old girl in algebra.
I have lunch with church friends almost every Sunday afternoon.
I've become a more confident clinician.
I've developed a great relationship with our college director and his wife, from church.
I've been working on memorizing Scripture.
I helped host a Superbowl party.
I rooted for Antonio Brown and the Steelers in said Superbowl.
I am in two weddings this upcoming year, possibly 3.
I love what I'm learning.
I'm praying about current and upcoming ministry opportunities.

So, that's all for now. :-) Sorry if you've missed me. I'll try to be better!

Hugs and kisses,

Sarah Anne


PS I leave you with a picture of my life on the weekends:




And my face: