"Same same, but different"

After only being in India for 10 days, this is a phrase that I've heard several different times. People are very open to talking about spiritual matters here and, as we've explored different places of worship and talked to all types of followers of religion, I have to agree. 

All religions are the same. 

They all have the same idea about God and man. God is holy, above us, separate from us. Man is sinful, we do bad things, have bad thoughts, and we are below God. The Hindus, the Muslims, the Siks that I've met, they all agree (separately) that, in order to reach God, we have to do good things, be good people, and outweigh our bad with good. Even a woman I met who doesn't believe in any god believes that we just have to be good people and then our karma will lift us up and good things will result. Bad things happen to bad people (whatever your personal standard may be) and good things happen to good people (again, whatever your personal standard may be). The sad truth is, even many Christians believe that this is the way to eternal life. Yes, all religion and non-religion believe the same thing. 

BUT (c'mon guys, of course there's a but!)

Jesus is different.

He agrees that, yes, God is holy, above us, separate from us. Man is sinful (Rom. 3:23), we do bad things, have bad thoughts, and we must be punished for that (Rom. 6:23). This is where His truth veers from all the beliefs of every other religion and non-religion: Absolutely nothing (NOTHING) we do can allow us to reach God. We are forever separated from Him by our sin, no matter how big or how small (ie: murder or a white lie). 

What to do? Someone has to pay our penalty, someone has to be punished. In every temple and mosque I have visited, the people are frantically scrambling to do all they can to not have to pay that penalty (prayers, offerings of food, money, gifts, good deeds). It breaks my heart to see the futility of their works. 

Jesus is different. While we were still sinners, he came to earth in humility, as a man, and died for us (FOR US!). He took on the penalty, he paid the price, so we don't have to (Rom 5:8). We are free from obligation to do all of those "good works," and we do them instead out of a response for what God has done in us. 

Making offerings at the Hindu temple

Offerings at the Muslim mosque

Temple for Sikhs

I'll just close with a verse from my beloved book of truth:

Romans 10:9-10, and 13 
If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved ... For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

All religions are the same, but Jesus is different. 

A Little Reminder.

As I sit here tonight, I ponder the emotions I've felt over the past couple of weeks. Surprisingly, I have felt peaceful, calm (minus the stress of packing), and relatively without sadness.  

I say that tonight, as tears run silently down my cheeks, as my heart aches for the people I will be missing. For the hugs I will miss, the laughter, the moments. 

And then I remember what I wrote in my journal this morning. I think to myself that what I wrote this morning wasn't for me this morning. It was for me tonight. In the sadness, in the wondering, in the questions. Let me share. 

"Reading through the beginning of Exodus this morning, I am reminded of so much. It's so easy to criticize Moses, to be frustrated with his worries, his objections, and protests. "But Moses..." is underlined in my Bible frequently in those beginning chapters. "I never want to be like that!" I think to myself. 
And then I look at the objections Moses raised:

"Who am I that I should go...?" 

"But behold, they will not believe me or listen to my voice"

"Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent...but I am slow of speech and tongue"

"Oh, my Lord, please send someone else"

"Why did you ever send me?"

"Behold the people...have not listened to me. How then shall Pharaoh listen to me, for I am of uncircumcised lips?"

"Behold I am of uncircumcised lips. How will [he] listen to me?" (repeated just in case God didn't get it the first time?)

Haven't I felt that way? "God, who am I? Why me? Why would they listen to my testimony or message? I am not bold enough, I get so fearful. I am a foreigner, of another culture, why should they listen to me?"
And it seems like after going out and trying to do what God asked of Moses, things got worse! So he begins to question his call. "Why did you even send me?? See, what you said to do? It didn't work! I told you  I wasn't right for the job!" 

But God is so good and so patient. He tells Moses over and over who He is and what He will do, reminding him:

"I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob..."
     ...I will send you...
     ...I will be with you...

"I am who I am..."
     ...I will bring you up out of the affliction...
     ...I will stretch out my hand...
     ...I will give this people favor...
     ...I will be with your mouth...

"I am the Lord..."
     ...I will bring you out...
     ...I will deliver you...
     ...I will take you to be my people...
     ...I will be your God...

"I am the Lord..." 
     ...I will bring you to the land...
     ...I will give it to you...

And ON and ON...

He faithfully reminds Moses in the midst of his doubting and questioning that, just because he's choosing to use Moses, it isn't Moses doing the work. It's God who is speaking, God who is delivering, God who is working on hearts.

May the Lord's anger never be kindled against me for believing that pitiful me could ever mess up God's plan. HE is my warrior, HE fights my battles, HE gets the glory. It was God's plan to use me and even as pitiful as I may be, HE chose me! 

And so I am reminded tonight. God is so faithful. So gracious. He leads me. He guides me. He has called me. And I remember that I am not making a sacrifice but that, in my obedience, God is glorified. And that's all that matters. 

Transitioning Through Transition

Unpacking and re-packing may literally drive me crazy.

I want to make sure I have what I need and some things I want, but that's an interesting endeavor when I've never been to this part of the world before!

2 years in 2 suitcases with weight limits + carry on + backpack = stressful.

The good thing? I will survive without anything I forget. Nothing is life or death. Well, except my new french press, which I might very well die without. But I had better include coffee on that list too, to make it count.

I've heard all of the following about our region, which varies greatly by the country/city:
It's beautiful
It's a difficult place to live
The people are friendly
It's a dark place
It's smelly
It's not so smelly
It's overwhelming
Daily tasks take longer
I love it
I hate it
There are SO many people
We have a small-town feel

All this to say, I am eager to get to my country, my city, to finally experience what life is all about instead of simply hearing 2nd hand what people have to say about it. Although I have appreciated the information, I'm just not sure which actually applies to me.

7 days to go!

The Lord is my Warrior

Something dawned on me last night as I was reflecting on the day's message.

But, before getting to that, I have to share from our time learning about spiritual warfare. Our teacher summed up his message in one sentence:

"God leads us into impossible battles so the nations may hear of his glory."

When God is dealing with his people in the Bible, he often gives them instructions like he did in Exodus 14:13, "Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the Lord..." He gave similar instructions to another people when they were up against 3 armies, saying "You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf" (2 Chron. 20:15). Can you imagine? Being defenseless, with an army (or three) bearing down on you, wondering "Why has the Lord brought me to this place? How can I survive?"  Only to have him answer, "Don't worry, just stand there, I've got this!" Seems a little crazy.

But that's exactly what he does say. Stand firm. Don't move. See my salvation. He is telling his people that HE is in control, that he wants to work on their behalf, that they shouldn't fear the outcome. He clarifies for Jehoshaphat and his men:

 

Do not be afraid and do not

be dismayed at the great horde,

for the battle is not yours but God's.

                                  2 Chronicles 20:15



But Lord, how can you tell me not to worry? The truth is: The Lord is a man of war (Exodus 15:3). He is our warrior, and he fights for us in a battle that has already been won!

 

All of this lesson we learned today really served to clarify the passage of Scripture that says:

 

Be still and know that I am God.

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth!

                         Psalm 46:10

 

Sound familiar? ("God leads us into impossible battles so the nations may hear of his glory.")

 

I am learning that, in the midst of conflict, in the midst of a battle, when the situation seems impossible, when I don't know what to do, God calls me to "Be still," literally. Do nothing to save myself or redeem the situation. Don't rely on my own plans. Be still. Stand firm, don't be afraid, know that HE has the power, HE is in control, and watch him work. When I do that, when I trust God in a totally "impossible" situation, who gets the credit? HE does! People from all over the world will begin to see his glory and power, just as I do! 

 

I am entering a time in my life when this is completely relevant. I am completely inadequate. I don't know enough, don't know the right words to say. There are days when I will be overwhelmed with lostness, days in which the task will seem impossible. BUT, instead of praying for strength, I have learned to pray for weakness. For stillness. For God says "My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Cor. 12:9).

 

The Lord is my warrior. In Him alone will I trust.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 







Reflections from an airplane

"Are you headed home?"

 

 

I think this question sums up the essence of my life. When the lady seated next to me on the airplane asked me this question, my first response was "well, I'm kind of between homes right now." And then I began to think about it more and more, realizing the truth in my answer. I have had many homes over the years: Michigan, Argentina, Texas, and my soon-to-be new home! It is making me remember that I truly am a sojourner and earth is not my home.

 

Sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with me when I have a hard time picturing myself settling down with the same job, same house, same church for a lifetime. But then I am reminded that God has fashioned me like this for a purpose. He delights in my unique desires and guides my steps accordingly.

 

For we know that if the tent that

is our earthly home is destroyed,

we have a building from God,

a house not made with hands,

eternal in the heavens.

For in this tent we groan, longing

to be put in our heavenly dwelling.

                       2 Corinthians 5:1,2

 

 

And, although it is difficult to say goodbye to one home for now, I am comforted by God's promise to provide a "hundredfold, now in this time...and in the age to come, eternal life" (Mark 10:30). I want to be able to respond to Jesus like Peter, who said "see, we have left everything and followed you" (Mark 10:28), rather than the man who had to walk away from Jesus, filled with sorrow, for he had too much stuff that he was unwilling to let go of. Following Jesus is so much sweeter than holding onto things and relationships that will never ultimately satisfy.

 

Paul himself even counts all of his accomplishments "as loss for the sake of Christ" (Phil 3:7).  And he accomplished a lot!  He continues:

 

Indeed I count everything as loss because

of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ

Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered

the loss of all things and count them as

 rubbish in order that I may gain Christ

and be found in him.

                                    Philippians 3:8

 

So, for now, I am laying aside my career, salary, and Spanish to learn a new job, in a new culture, with a new language. And when I start to get scared, I try to remind myself that "...our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ..." (Phil 3:20), and that my goal is not to make for myself a comfortable, easy life here on earth. My goal is to bring glory to God, whatever the means!

 

 

I am headed home. 





[Annual] Review

Because I don't write often enough, here comes another grand review of my life. (Sorry, I will work on changing that, especially in this next season).

God has done amazing things in this past year. Added to that, this has been, without a doubt, the most difficult year for me in Texas so far. For many reasons. However, it is through the difficult times that I have been the most refined. I have learned so much about myself, my sin, and the amazing grace of God.

I think sometime in the past I realized that I was not truly broken over my sin. I really had this view of myself that "I'm really not that bad." I asked God to show me what needed to change and how I needed to become more like Him. I am here to tell you that God is completely faithful and answered me with a vengeance. I may not murder, but I can get oh-so angry. I may not engage in sexual immorality, but I lust. I may typically be a pretty nice person, but I am more selfish than anyone realizes. But thanks be to God for forgiving me and being my advocate! I do not have to live under condemnation and I have hope that He is ever working in and through me.

In other life news, I have now almost completed 1 year of working my first big girl job. I am officially a licensed, certified Speech-Language Pathologist. After 7 years, it's quite an accomplishment. Although, I must say that the end was quite anticlimactic. Being "done" is not really being "done" with anything in this profession. The mountain of things I have yet to learn feels as though it may never be conquered.

My job has been a huge blessing throughout this year and I have loved the very relational side of what I do, going into people's homes and really almost becoming part of their families. It has also been extremely challenging. Some days I feel as though I am still in grad school, doing paperwork, planning, and being consumed with work. I have felt super inadequate more times than I can count in the past year for the job that I am doing. I honestly don't think that I would have survived without the help of my amazing supervisor, Sally.

We have also been living at the Fountains for a year now and I wouldn't want to live anywhere else here. It is actually difficult to believe that it has already been a year. Besides literally having the "nations" in my back yard, my favorite part of living here has been being neighbors to Kevin and Lauren. I love living in such close community and it makes me so sad to think about the next season of my life without them just a parking lot away.

I have said this to anyone who will listen, but it is worth repeating. I have been absolutely blessed by my community and church family here in Fort Worth. Our Wedgwood College & Young Adults group has been an amazing part of my life here in these past (almost) 3 years. Anyone who has come to visit me can see immediately what I mean by this. It is not something that can be put into words easily, but something to be experienced.

And now, with only 3 weeks left in Texas, this chapter of my life is coming to a close. It's exciting and heart-breaking, all at the same time.

Stay tuned for an update about the big changes coming my way!!

Glory to God.

God Has His Own Plan...

I am writing this having recently turned 24 years old. I have to say, I never did anticipate my life looking like this at age 24. It's beautiful and messy all at the same time and it truly is a blessing that God is in control and not me, because I would've done things so differently and probably not in my best interest at all! Here I am, having finished my Master's degree at TCU, staying in Fort Worth, Texas! Who would've thought? (Definitely not me!) 

I am still single. Yes, 24 is still young and I am realizing that more and more, but as a girl I always imagined being married by now. At this point, I honestly can't imagine it, although there's no doubt that I crave a relationship more times than not. I am a woman who desires a Godly husband (someday), one with whom I can grow and laugh. I desire a partner in ministry who I can encourage and be encouraged by, bounce ideas off of, and learn from. I never want to compromise on that--a man who will step up and take a chance in pursuing me. 

But God has His own plan, which is far greater than mine. Of that I am sure. I have been broken-hearted in these 24 years. One instance was by a good Christian man who was completely honest with me in saying "something was missing." I never worked up the courage or the want-to to ask about the "something." But I trust that God was just protecting my heart in the long run. 

All that to say, I am still plagued with the girlish insecurities of many girls and women. It takes a real effort to squash the thought of "I'm not pretty enough for him" and, I admit, sometimes I fail. My dad told me that I am too intimidating and, in fact, once questioned my interest in men. Even from a father who is no father at all, that hurt. And obviously it stays with me. It's remembering that real beauty comes from  the inner self that serves to comfort me.  And also knowing that the man I seek will also believe that.

My heart has also changed dramatically in the past couple of years in ways I never would've imagined. My desire to be involved in ministry overseas has only grown, but prior to moving to TX I could only see myself in Spanish-speaking countries and, in fact, it's all I really wanted. Nothing else called to me or tugged on my heart strings. Until Durga. And Yedhu. And Akash and Ashmita. Until I became involved in the world only a few minutes from home. The world that IS my home now. 

You see, a year ago we started a refugee ministry with the college group that has served to minister more to my heart than any other. We came to love on children and families from Nepal, Burma, Sudan, and Iraq who participate in religions that I frankly never cared to learn about. Now I am considering the Journeymen program possibly in Nepal or India. 

God has his own plan, he owns my heart and is free to come in and change and tweak it as He chooses. 

I am also soon to start work in the "real world" as a Speech-Language Pathologist. I wasn't sure this time would actually come! 6 years of college are done and over--no going back. I am no longer a college student, but a professional with a salary. My heart is fighting it and, in this moment, I kind of hate it. Not the job or the children I will be serving, but the circumstances. I don't know, I haven't quite sorted out all of my emotions. Transitioning out of school, becoming a new professional, not knowing enough, not having enough time, being insecure in my skills...it all plays a part. At this point I'm not sure if speech therapy will play a permanent role in my life or not. 

God has his own plan and He is free to change my path at any moment. He knows my passions and desires better than I know them myself and He will plan accordingly. 

So, as I celebrate 24 years of life and growth and trial and blessing, I more importantly celebrate the God who is in control of it all. He has his own plan and for that I am forever grateful.