Vision in the Valley

I want to open up a few pages of my journal to everyone so that my life may be a testimony to God's faithfulness. I am in constant awe of how He answers prayers and this is no exception. God really does have his hand in our lives, directing and guiding events of everyday life.

Please take a few moments to read through the following. I pray you'll be as amazed by God as I am.


April 7, 2011, I wrote the following:


"It's nights like tonight when I question you. Not you or who you are, but who you've made me to be. Obviously you created me uniquely, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I have a fire for your Lord and really a faith that is as much a part of me as my hair color, or the two eyes on my face. I praise you and thank you for that. But sometimes I wonder if I have simply "convinced" myself that I have such a deeply rooted faith, or is it actually true?? Why, oh why, Lord, is it so difficult for me to be a light? To be OPEN and honest about my faith, not just quiet in a corner, sitting on a basket, covering the greatest light there is?...Do I love you like I say I do?? Why don't my actions match my heart? Your words says you can do immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine (Eph 3:20).

Time for a milestone, time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills?
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything, I surrender

Again, I'm not questioning your "God-ness"...I just can't see it all. Someday I'll understand."


April 8, 2011, I wrote this:

"Father, I can't sleep tonight (1:30am) because I am thinking about the development of tonight's seemingly innocent conversation with Jenny. We were talking about jobs and the future...As we were talking I was becoming even more uneasy and uncertain about making the decision about Bilingual Therapies. I truly have been on a back-and-forth ride in making this decision and recently I have just in general been wondering if I am on the right path. Am I here in grad school because of my stubborn self-will, or because God has ordained it? Am I on this path because of the comfort and security it will provide, or becaue I really feel this is the path God has placed me on? Am I doing the right thing, going in the right direction?? I was really wrestling through that in my convo with Jenny tonight and telling her about my desire to go do missions abroad, asking about what it would look like to take a year off, talking through the frustration, the CONSTANT frustration of debt and the strong desire to pay it off and be done with it. So many thoughts, discussion, questions...all lead to a "revelation" if I can call it that. And since I don't believe in simple coincidences, I am choosing to believe you have cast a vision upon my heart. A vision that will be impossible to achieve in reality without you guiding me every step of the way. I have been saying ALL along that the last thing I want is to become comfortable and complacent. I need to pay off my debt, I have a heart for ministry and missions, I absolutely love speaking Spanish and I desire that as part of my future, I could see myself abroad in a foreign country, meeting needs that are currently unmet and sharing Christ and his love all the while. That is the long-term heart you have given me thus far, the things I feel...what I have had the hardest time understanding so far is the HOW and WHEN. How, if I have to pay back my debt, do I go? When do I go, if I must stay here for a couple of years at least? How could you use my professional interests in the ministry world? How do I carve out my own path? I believe I have the beginning of an answer:

*The Rio Grande Valley, TX*

Population: 95% + Hispanic, Spanish-speaking
Needed: CHRIST!

I could be a "foreign" missionary in my own country!! Is it safe? Not necessarily. Would I be uncomfortable? Probably. Criticized for my less-than-perfect Spanish speaking abilities? More than likely. Would I need to be utterly dependant on God? Absolutely. Would it help me towards the goal of paying back my debt quickly? Apparently, yes, they pay well.

Father, I pray for your continued guidance, I praise you for placing this on my heart. I ask you that your will may be shown to me, that if I am so completely wrong, that you would close these doors and guide me elsewhere. I'm YOURS!"


April 10, 2011, I wrote the following:

"Lord you are so good! You are faithful to your promises, you know when I sit and when I rise (Ps 139), you know the desires of my heart, and your ultimate plan is to prosper me in all that I do for you so that I might glorify you more. Last week, I cried out to you in frustration because I've just not been sure WHAT you want me to do with my life. Friday night you cast a vision upon my heart, one so powerful that I couldn't sleep! Why the Valley, I'm not sure...but I prayed even that night for continued guidance. This morning you gave me even more confirmation! Our sermon this morning was titled "Vision in the Valley," which honestly escaped my attention for the first 15 minutes or so. Pastor Al talked about having a sense of vision, or "sanctified dreams," and how, without it, we are headed towards destruction.

THEN, he began talking about "The valley" in a figurative sense of course, but he actually made the statement that:

"That's where God's calling us to minister--Down in the valley."

He also said something along the lines of, "It's down in the valley where lives are in desperate need of Christ." LORD! I am in awe! My jaw dropped when I heard that. If he wasn't speaking directly to me, I'm not sure I heard it correctly. Praise you God. I will not turn away or deny your purpose within me, wherever it may lead me...Train me, raise me up. I am your instrument for your to use as you please. "


Such a long post, but I felt the need to share. God is REAL and active in our everyday lives. This weekend he is RISEN. I hope you're encouraged as I am!

Life of a not-stressed grad student

I need to be careful posting so soon...y'all are going to start thinking I'm a regular blogger! (Did you notice the "y'all"??)

Let's see...Life.

I am surprised at how not-stressed I am this semester. I've been trying to figure it out. I have fewer clinical assignment things to do, such as writing reports and making lesson plans, but I have an additional class. And class isn't without work and studying, let me assure you. I am hoping that I am not just waiting until the last minute to do everything for classes, but I have already started my research paper due in 3 weeks, which I'd say is an accomplishment. I am wondering if my being less stressed correlates with the strength of my relationship with God. (can you tell that my research class is infiltrating my life?) It seems like, the more time I take out to spend with God, reading his word, praying, etc., the more time I seem to have in my day. It seems counter intuitive, but I can only say that it feels true for me on a daily basis. Now, I am not saying that I DON'T get stressed about anything or worry about anything. I am human, after all. However, I do have an overall sense of peace about my daily life, what I am involving myself in, how I spend my time, what I'm getting done, etc.

In other news, I have had QUITE an exciting week!! It started with meeting up with Ethan, our college ministry director, last Sunday to talk about missions and all of the possibilities for the college group. He had approached me in the past couple of weeks to ask if I would pray about heading up missions for the college ministry. This seems to be an answer to a long-prayed prayer! He sort of issued a challenge to me to "stretch my ministry muscles," which is exciting for me! (And scary too!) I haven't stepped far out of my comfort zone in ministry in quite some time. It reminds me of the question:

"What thing are you doing right now in your life that would be impossible without God?"

So, I'm striking out on a new path in life that I believe God is faithfully guiding me down! I started out this week getting a tour of Catholic Charities, a local organization that works closely with refugee populations (among many many other ministries) to settle them, provide financial and job assistance, and mentor relationships. I also met later in the week with the director of missions at my church and another young lady like myself who actually works for Catholic Charities. It looks like things are falling into place and I am SO looking forward to where this can go. I will definitely give more updates in the future! Now I'm praying that the vision I have for this can be cast into the hearts and minds of my fellow college students at Wedgwood.

On a side note, I finally got an opportunity to teach and play Settlers of Catan last weekend with a couple of sweet girls. It brought back memories of good times last year with my wonderful friends at CMU. Now I just need to find someone who knows how to play chess! (Gosh, I'm SUCH a nerd!!) But better a nerd than a dork. (Oh wait, I think that's me too.)

Sending my love!

Cooking & Baking Endeavors

Wow! Another post already? I've been inspired by reading blogs these past few weeks (especially when we had our 4 snow days) and I wanted to share some of the fun things coming out of my, and others', kitchens! I have always inspired to be a good cook, like my momma and grandma. And while being a student is a full-time, crazy job, so is being a wife and a mother! I'm starting to realize that things aren't going to get less busy as life moves on, so I'd better start adapting now! Plus, it's something I very much enjoy, so why not?

Benefits of cooking/baking:
-I get to EAT it!
-I get to try out new recipes
-I get to experiment mixing flavors and colors
-I get to please others with the yummy goodness! (I hope)

Drawbacks of cooking/baking:

-Doing DISHES
-It's expensive at this stage in life
-It can be rather time consuming

So here are a few of the things I've taken pictures of:

(Toll House Streusel Muffins with slivered almonds on top)

(Halloween treat: Brownies with peanut butter frosting, and a little extra!)

(Deboned whole chicken with bacon/vegetable stuffing)

On a side note for this one, I'd been promising my grandma that I would do this for her since 2008, when I learned in Argentina. She still didn't understand how I did it without breaking the skin...

(Superbowl treat: Chocolate cupcakes in football formation)

This one wasn't entirely my undertaking. In fact, the frosting is all my roommate. But I thought it was too adorable NOT to share!

(Cut up carrots, bell peppers, zucchini, and yellow squash)

(Combined ingredients: hamburger, rice, veggies, spaghetti sauce, herbs & spices)

(Final result: Stuffed green peppers)

The last recipe is compliments of the lovely Julie, a wonderful mother, wife, and fabulous cook! I wish I had more opportunities to learn from her!


Bon Appétit!

As the days go by...

I realize my last post began with "It's beginning to feel a lot like Michigan," and, again I'd say that's true! Only this time it's not the end of August with temperatures cooling down into the "tolerable" range. This time it's feeling like home due to our much lower temperatures and *gasp* even snow!! Crazy enough, in the past two weeks I have had 5 snow days (3-4 of which were due to light snow, heavy ice)! I think I maybe had one snow day in all four years of college, but I'm not complaining. Next is supposed to come the slightly "I'm superior" comment about Texans being wimps and how being scared to go out in a few inches of snow is pretty lame. After all, I am a seasoned winter driver. Well, it's not coming from me! I can't blame Texans for being scared to drive...ice is no joke, especially not when you have Not A Thing to melt it. Like salt, for example. Maybe it's the reason my car is rusty, but it's also the reason that I haven't been in a winter accident! Anyways, enough about the weather!

Life since last fall? Here are a few things that have happened:

I cried my first day of clinic.
I survived my first semester of clinic.
I get up at about 6-6:30am [most] every day to have coffee and Jesus time.
I used Spanish weekly, if not daily.
I read Genesis through (now) Psalms with the church.
I have developed a great friendship with one particular girl in my program.
I went to a haunted house and hurt my arm by running into a wall.
I went home for Thanksgiving.
I drove to a different city 3x a week to work with Spanish-speaking kiddos.
I babysit on occasion for a lively, wonderful set of 3 boys.
I went to downtown Ft. Worth and saw the beautiful Christmas lights.
I passed my first semester with a 4.0!
I went home for a month over Christmas.
I have a "staff" dinner weekly with our staff/volunteer team in Cru.
I'm loving my living arrangement.
I played laser tag.
I've developed a friendship with two sweet girls at church.
I've learned more about this profession than I can possibly remember.
I'm debating writing a thesis (truly debating!)
I tutor a 13 year old girl in algebra.
I have lunch with church friends almost every Sunday afternoon.
I've become a more confident clinician.
I've developed a great relationship with our college director and his wife, from church.
I've been working on memorizing Scripture.
I helped host a Superbowl party.
I rooted for Antonio Brown and the Steelers in said Superbowl.
I am in two weddings this upcoming year, possibly 3.
I love what I'm learning.
I'm praying about current and upcoming ministry opportunities.

So, that's all for now. :-) Sorry if you've missed me. I'll try to be better!

Hugs and kisses,

Sarah Anne


PS I leave you with a picture of my life on the weekends:




And my face:

It's Beginning to Feel Alot Like Michigan...

Hey all!

Yes, what the title says is true! But, probably not for the reasons you're suspecting...Not because I'm meeting friends or starting classes. Not because I'm finally getting around the city a little better or settling into a church, but because today it was SEVENTY-FOUR degrees outside!! WHAT?! It rained a little yesterday and cooled down a ton, but today it never really got much hotter then 75! Now, that's just pure insanity coming from usual weather from about 105-110. It's the first time that I've felt chilly outside since being here! They do say that it's going to hit 90 again tomorrow, but honestly even that is better than the up-there temps we've had.

Anyways, in more life-related news:

I've almost officially finished my first week school as a graduate student at TCU! Phew! It's super crazy and my brain is loaded with tons of new information. And really, classes at this point is the least of my concern! I have 3 clinical assignments so far that are looking pretty interesting! I will be working with two older boys, ages 11 and 12, one having mild autism and the other Down's Syndrome. The third is a little boy, 5ish I think, and he is bilingual! :-) I hear that they are all pretty sweet and I know that I"m going to learn a ton working with them! The other clinical thing I will be doing is going to a local school district with a professor to work with bilingual children doing screenings, diagnostics, and therapy. However, that is 8 hours every Friday, so I know those are going to be exhaustingly long days. We start all that clinical stuff next week, so we've been meeting with supervisors, preparing lessons, and learning paperwork. It leaves me so very exhausted at the end of each day! But I know that once I make it through the first couple of weeks I should be much less overwhelmed.

TCU continues to be great, I'm loving the faculty and students. Everyone is so friendly and helpful. Coming here having an undergraduate degree from a different university is somewhat tough because, as I said before, almost half of our clinicians did their undergrad at TCU and so they "know it all". I know how to write reports, lesson plans, do therapy, etc, but in a whole different way! Sometimes it can feel like/ you can be treated like you've never done any of it! But that's more of a pride issue than anything and it is very important that I learn TCU's way of doing things. After all, I will be here for the next 2 years!

I went to the same church that I had attended before this week and really enjoyed it. The pastor is from Michigan, so of course he's a winner. ;-) But his message I thought was very insightful and he's starting an 80-week sermon series "Through the Bible". Yowza!! That's intense. But I'm excited to learn! Afterwards my roommate and I went out to lunch with some people from the young adults group. Making friends, slowly but surely! I also am planning on going over to a woman's house for dinner this weekend. She and her husband have 3 little guys and they are a pretty cool family! But her husband is a Navy pilot, so he will be gone this weekend and she asked if I'd like to come over for dinner. :-) I'm excited about that!

Cru things have also started on campus, and that's a whole different whirlwind! I went to a student leader's retreat last weekend and it was nice to meet a lot of the students and hang out. They had a picnic last night and I spent a couple of hours there. It's so hard to know how to balance my time with that and how much I can REAlly get involved, but I know that I at least will be going to a couple of meetings a week (one with volunteers and one with students) and probably discipling (mentoring) a few of the girls. Still praying for discernment!

So....that pretty much sums up my life as of right now. I do miss Michigan and all my friends and family, but I know this semester is going to FLY by and I will be home for a month before you know it!

Loving you!

The Newbie

Soo...mom left Ft. Worth last Thursday and I've been fending for myself for the past almost week. Everything has been going smoothly thus far for the most part. Before orientation started last weekend I was able to attend an overnight retreat with a staff couple from Campus Crusade and get a vision for their ministry this year. That was exciting and made me want to be a part of their movement this year! My only problem is time and I am still discerning what I will be able to contribute. I'm still not sure what my first semester of grad school promises! I also got to know another grad student and a few other people that are all very nice and welcoming. We stayed at a HUGE beautiful ranch out in the country of TX and shot a shotgun, went four-wheeling, and went swimming in a natural pool thing. SweeT!

This week I started orientation. So far so good! It's a little weird being the "newbie" because 7 of 13 are from TCU's undergrad SLP program and are therefore very familiar with the faculty, clinic, city, etc. They already all know each other and on the first day all of the new students just kind of sat there and listened to the other students talk amongst each other. It's slowly getting better and I am sure that it will be fine shortly! We are all going to know each other very closely! There are moments when I feel myself becoming overwhelmed, but I just say to myself "not yet!" and I can usually calm down and move on. :-) I am one among 6 bilingual students and although I am "unofficial" and "a special case" according to our clinical director, I am confident that I will be getting lots of cool experiences with bilingual populations. I am so excited! We start Monday with classes and the following week we start clinic. However, this week we are doing a diagnostic on a child with a partner, which includes administering speech and language tests, a hearing screening, language sample, and parent interview. Talk about jumping right in!

Dr. Watts, our clinical director, said on the first day that we had "made the best decisions of [our] lives" by coming to TCU and he was completely serious! I'm not sure about the "of my life" part, but I am confident that I've made a good decision!

And good news! I have no night classes, which frees me up a little bit to do some ministry with Cru! :-) Ask and you shall receive!

Love you guys, keep me posted.

Exploring

Today Mom and I decided to venture out and explore a little of Ft. Worth, besides just Walmart and other stores. Mom had looked up kind of touristy areas of interest in Ft. Worth and discovered a historical area of the city. So, off we went!

It was quite a neat place and had a very authentic Texas feel. The very first thing we did was sit down at a barbecue restaurant and eat a real Texan meal, complete with brisket, ribs, and smoked sausage. Of course we had all the other fixin's too like potato salad, red beans, and coleslaw. It was delicious!!
After lunch we wandered down the street in and out of little shops and learned a little bit about the historical stockyards of Ft. Worth. In the afternoon they had a cattle drive with the long-horned cattle, so everyone lined up on the streets and admired the huge beasts as they went by. All the while it's well over 100 degrees! The car said it was 113, which was of course a bit high due to it sitting in the sun...but I don't exaggerate when I say it's hot!! Thank goodness for AC. And thank goodness for my GPS too! I don't think we would make it anywhere without it yet.
Other than that, there isn't much going on right now. I just met my roommate yesterday and she's very sweet! I think we will get along great. We are hopefully heading to a young adults group game night tonight for a local church. Maybe we can make some friends! :-)
Tomorrow I'm meeting with a Cru staff guy and his wife to talk about maybe getting semi-involved in the campus ministry. We'll see if I have time, but I would love to help out in the ministry that helped me grow SO much during my undergrad.

Anyways, sending my love!!

Sarah